Midnight Sun Midnight Sun
November 3rd, 1998, Issue 1

Amish Iowan Reaches 135th Birthday

Born at the end of the Civil War, Amish man is in excellent health.

Lab Rats Get Cancer From Rush Limbaugh

Exposure to 12 hours of taped radio shows per day for 6 months caused brain tumors in rats in a recent scientific study.

Woman Thought Sleeping Near Husband Caused Pregnancy

After trying for two years to have children, Chinese doctors examined the Hunan woman and found her to be a virgin. She believed that sleeping beside her husband would get her pregnant.

Bigfoot Shot and Killed in Idaho

Hunter accidentally shoots Bigfoot near Snake River, thinking it was a bear.

Ronald Reagan's Alzheimer's Caused by Psychic Attack

Nancy Reagan's astrologer claims that former Pres. Ronald Reagan's degenerative brain condition has been caused by mental attacks from psychic individuals working for the Clinton administration.

Dick Clark Dies in Freak Car Accident

In a hit-and-run accident, Dick Clark's car was overturned and burned, while he was driving to Big Sur.

Stroke Victim Walks With Mechanical Legs.

Latest medical advance holds promise for millions of paraplegics worldwide.

Donut Diet Slims Tampa Police Force

Tampa Bay police officers have lost an average of 20 pounds in six months. Now cops hang around donut shops for good reasons.